Rocky walked out to his Lexus Sunday morning and discovered that all four windows mysteriously opened overnight. This posed a problem because an overnight monsoon left the seats, carpet and dashboard badly soaked. Even the cupholders were holding water (without cups).
“Unintended acceleration gets all the attention, but unintended ventilation is far more insidious,” thought Rocky as he diligently wiped the seats with a trove of Trophy Wife’s dish towels. “At least with unintended acceleration, you can shift into neutral or turn off the engine.”
Since the outside temperature was in the high 30’s, Rocky did not open the windows intentionally. And because he keeps the passenger windows in “locked mode,” he could not have accidentally confused the door-lock and down-window buttons when exiting.
Other than an electronic problem, the best explanation is that Rocky sat on his key fob in an odd way. Rocky knew that if he pressed the key fob “unlock button” for 5 continous seconds, all of the windows opened. How could this happen? Rocky did not wear his trousers to bed, nor did he engage in any contortionist exercises. The only explanation is that Rocky “bent over,” as he occasionally must do.
[Disclosure: Rocky intends to contact the National Highway Safety Administration and lodge a complaint. Perhaps then Toyota will issue a key fob safety recall -- which will prevent unintended ventilation from ruining more fine wool suits and silk jackets -- as these fine garments are pressed against soaked leather seats.]
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